Idraluna Archives

d20 Shitty Spaceport Bars

Spaceports always have bars where you can blow off steam after a passage and meet potential patrons. They usually suck.

In cases where it's helpful to flesh out a spaceport bar with an evocative detail, throw two dice and consult the table below. If the threshold for "Bougie Bar" is met, roll on that table, otherwise roll a "Dire Dive".

Spaceport Type Throw for Bougie Bar
A 7+
B 8+
C 9+
D 10+
E 11+

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d20 Dire Dives
1 Poor sound insulation and too close to the launch pad -- arrivals and departures are deafening.
2 The local drink tastes like absolute piss but the bartenders get offended if you order anything else.
3 Attached to a zero-g cage fighting arena.
4 Everything is made out of salvaged starship parts.
5 Permanently sticky floor.
6 Bedecked with memorabilia for an omnikin-ball team, clientele accuses all newcomers of supporting rival team.
7 A jukebox is stocked exclusively with Arcturian 12-tone Bossa Nova
8 Traces of blood can be found in between pleather booth cushions.
9 All the regulars are loudly singing out-of-key space shanties.
10 The deep-fried carbo-cubes hit different when you're 3-4 drinks in.
11 Bullet holes in the wall, partially obscured by a photo of whoever the far-future equivalent of Guy Fieri is.
12 Has a 2-dimensional pool table. A guy who is really, really good at it hangs around at all times.
13 Malfunctioning holo-stripper performs the same dance over and over again.
14 Unusually foul graffiti in lavatory.
15 Overrun with local teenagers with fake IDs.
16 An eclectic band plays jaunty jazz tunes, incongruous with the dour clientele.
17 Air thick with a dozen varieties of psychoactive smoke.
18 Dry planet, technically a restaurant but everyone sneaks in their own booze.
19 Dry planet, serves burnt drip coffee instead of alcohol.
20 Roll on A-B Spaceport table.

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d20 Bougie Bars
1 Serves top-shelf segir & sompus wine with elaborately sculpted ice cubes.
2 Fully automated service, lit by bright overhead fluorescent lights, with uncomfortable plastic seats.
3 Constantly blasting anodic dance music, nobody is dancing except for one guy, obviously blitzed on some kind of stimulant.
4 Serves nothing but synth-sinthe (synthetic absinthe) out of an elaborate contraption. Full of curly moustache types.
5 Has a 5-dimensional pool table. A guy who is really, really good at it hangs around at all times.
6 Neon everything -- bar, tables, stools, bartender.
7 Aggressively rustic, drinks all cost triple the usual price.
8 Charges a monthly subscription for "VIP-tier" service, those without are relegated to a dingy side room.
9 Decor themed after local planet's extinct precursor species. Alien masks on the wall have a faintly sinister aura.
10 Holoscreens mounted on every available surface display an overwhelming array of recorded sports feeds from around the sector.
11 Dress code stipulates that guests don an elaborate local garment (e.g. toga-like wrap, knotted turban, scratchy knitted robe, etc.)
12 Basically a far-future Dave & Busters or Chuck-E-Cheez, ticket-operated VR arcade games and a profoundly unsettling animatronic mascot.
13 Quiet piano music, potted plants, and newspaper holders. Sedate, but pleasant.
14 Open mic night, with a full queue of slam poets and stand-up comedians lined up.
15 "You've seen hookers with 3, 4, 5, even 1 tits. But have you seen one with negative tits?"
16 Fancy hookah lounge, floor cushions and a permanent smoky haze.
17 Dry spaceport, only serves conceptual cocktails, infused with memories, moods, & emotions.
18 Dry spaceport, serves fancy espresso instead of alcohol.
19 Roll on Dire Dive Spaceport table.
20 Roll on Dire Dive Spaceport table, but in a fake, affected way.

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